Camping expedition – how hard can it possibly be??

I am a little late in doing this, but am a busy little bee at the moment.  Decided to take Deej on another camping expedition last weekend.  As Mr Bean was at work Sat morning, i decided that i would set off from work Friday evening, and Deej was unceremoniously delivered to me by Mr Bean who seemed unnaturally pleased to be leaving him with me!

Deej now has his own little backpack, just so he can carry his own food, and it isn’t all that heavy, but gives him a job, and he only wears it for a short while, then I carry it along with Bernie and all the rest of the gubbins.  We managed to set off from work at 6pm, and meandered our way to Raincliffe, Deej seemed quite happy with himself, going somewhere different.  The sky looked very menacing, but it wan’t raining, just very windy, and I really was enjoying myself.

8pm, and I found a place to pitch tent, it was starting to get a bit dark, so started to unpack.  That is where everything started to deteriorate really.  You see, Deej has this insatiable curiosity and wants to know everything you are doing – so wherever I was, he was there, where my hands were, his nose was.  When tent canvas was laid out, he was on it.  When guy ropes were eventually up, he was pulling them out.

Getting sorted inside was even worse!  I had invested in a sleeping bag liner to try and improve the warmth thing, and also some pj’s.  Ha, no chance.  Sleeping mat installed, mut pushed off it.  Sleeping bag laid out – mut extracted off it.  Search for sleeping bag liner, push mut off sleeping bag again.  Can’t find sleeping bag liner, find pj’s – can only find bottom half – push mut off sleeping bag again, lay DJ towel on floor for him to sleep on – he digs it up and lays back on the sleeping bag – grrrrrrrr!  Eventually get settled in sleeping bag, ring mr Bean to tell him it is ok – find that it is 21:40 – it NEVER usually takes me so long to get sorted.

Find hip flask with gorgeous Jura whisky – for medicinal purposes you understand, and the stress I was under I really needed it.  In order to get to clothing items, I had to unpack food stuff from top of Bernie, which was strategically placed at top of tent by my head so i could defend it, and glad I did too!  Now that DJ has been camping before, he has now learnt where HIS food is and where MY food is and where the water is kept.  Sooooo for the next FOUR hours, I spent laid awake saying LEAVE, NO, AWAY, DOWN, NO, LEAVE IT.  Feeling like my eyes were on fire, I relented and found him a chew cos all I could hear was his stump smacking the side of the tent and I could FEEL his intent stare.  Of course, I laid listening to the highly appealing and soothing sound of him chomping away.

Finally, he grunted and went to sleep – AT LAST.  Feeling sleepy, and cold, I now found I could not actually get to sleep myself.  I laid listening to the wind in the trees, so helped myself to another wee sip of Jura.  Mmmm, it was soothing – but it woke the hyper-object.  The food obsession started again, and after another hour of meaningful no’s, he laid down again.

You’d think I could slip into blissfull sleep by now wouldn’t you!  Erm no, you see Oswald the Owl clearly was unimpressed by these intruders and persisted to hoot very loudly from a tree very close by.  My very loyal, brave and macho hound immediatly jumped out of his skin, whimpered and came and virtually laid on my face whimpering!  What a big girls blouse!  Honestly, it’s a jolly good job I was there to protect him!  Finally managed to settle him down AGAIN, and off we both slipped off into the magical land of slumber.

Well, I think I managed about an hour before i woke up pushed up against the side of the tent, with the coward of the county laid shivering next to me.  He, like me, was absolutely frozen.  Up I got, found his big fluffy coat and put him in his coat, which he did seem to appreciate.  We both jostled for the warm spot by my sleeping bag.  I checked the time – 3 o flipping clock!  Another hug from Mr Jura, and I tried chasing the sandman once more.

Woke up to birdsong, oh and snorting, digging and a very wide awake hound trying to ransack the rucksacks again!  He very quickly put a look of indiferent innocence when he realised I was watching – just checking for ninja  warrior owls mum – honest!  He then tried walking through the bleeding tent door with it still zipped!  Ok, he wanted out, he got out and the tent door zipped up again!  Check the watch – oh goody, i did get a bit of lay in then, it’s 04:55 am!  No wonder i feel full of energy and am ready to crawl back in my sleeping bag.  Though the temptation was very strong, together with more conversation with Mr Jura, the sound of crunching from outside  prompted me to get dressed and find the little s…t!  Yep, he was trying to munch his way through the woods.  I swear, he was behaving like he had been on blue smarties for the last 12 hours.  Soon remedy that!

Packed everything away, put his backpack on him and went looking for what I call Bluebell wood where we could have breakfast at some picnic benches.  He was behaving like a proper bufoon  who had been on an all night drinking binge at a drink all you can red bull party! He was as high as a kite – running up and down the steep sides of the hill with his rucksack, and i tried warning him – I did, I told him we had to walk to Langdale to meet his Dad.  Did he listen?  No.  He continued behaving like he was 3 months old.

Enjoyed breakfast very much, then we set off for Langdale.  As soon as we got to the unavoidable road bit at mowthorpe (after stopping off at the beck so he could drink, but he interpreted this as meaning more bufooning), he had to go on the lead, and I carried his backpack.  The stump stopped wagging, and we trudged our way to Hackness where we stopped at a handy bench for a wee rest.  Paul Mckenna must have passed us and said ‘Sleep’ to Deej cos he flopped down and was out for the count.  Cheeky little mut!  I let him have 20 minutes before waking him to carry on.

Got to the turn off for Broxa and had to make a decision.  do i carry on to Langdale, or do i climb up to Broxa and try and get a signal to get the Deej bus.  The body had abviously rebelled against the brain and beat it into submission, reminding him of his age, he was exhausted and struggled to stay stood.  Ok, call for daddy it is then.  There goes our camping for the night.  I have never seen a dog sooooo  happy to see his bed!  He slept for hours, and come to think of it, so did I!

A couple of pics for you to enjoy.  Needless to say, my next expedition will not be with DJ!



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